7and8

2009-03-08T08:13:00.002-04:00

I was on an aeroplane recently. I had to go potty. The dude in the isle seat finally wakes up so I was able to get out. Just before I get to the lav. someone resembling Dr. Beard-Face ducks into do his business. No worries, I'll wait. And I wait, and wait and wait some more.
Finally I decide that even if he comes out now I don't think I want to go in right after him.
I make my way back to the aft lavs. of the plane because I am ignorant of the atrocities dealt there.

BTW who do they think they are fooling with the floors in the new plane lavs.? I know it is not real hardwood, why are you pretending aeroplane people?

Nomenclature

2009-02-20T09:06:00.002-05:00

I'm a visual person. Visual learner, expedited understanding for me comes from pictures and exploded diagrams. Give me a white board and an audience and I'd be in my element. Yesterday I took 7&8 to the Charles River Museum of Industry. I'd like to share my moment of clarity but I understand that it probably means more to me.

An elder statesman showed us a machine shop from the turn of the century (not that one the other one). This was right out of the industrial revolution. All of the machines were run from one power source (originally it was a water wheel then later replaced by a steam engine). From the source the machines were connected to it by a line of belts and pulleys. If a machine broke it needed to be fixed when it was not running but you couldn't stop the power source or all of the machines on that line would stop running. So he shows us how if you move this lever the belt driving the machine slips to the side onto a free-spinning idle pulley so the rest of the line runs but the broken machine is not connected to the line or 'offline'

It is easy to forget that there is nothing new under the sun. Personally, I like their jargon better. I'm going offline new skool now.

Exhausted

2009-02-15T08:05:00.002-05:00

I'm so tired of being scared. Money, stolen nuke computers, peanut butter. Holy Crap!!!!

That last one is a statement rather than an addition to the list of things that have been held up as the latest catalyst in the extinction of the human race.

I want to hear a report on politicians going on a spending spree with their own money. Cars, refrigerators, zagnut bars. And I want it genuinely legit so it won't come out later that they took the zagnut from a baby. In addition to the spending their own money how about they take a pay cut too. CEOs should do it freely, willingly and not legislatively. You wanna be on capital hill and a hero in this mess then take a pay cut, hire more people. Go to the freakin' laundro -mat and get some take out all on your new bike. Bad guys will not look for politicians on bikes (unless you are Sen. Kerry).

Winter break is here and I should be concerned with a choice of Kennedy Library or Charles River Museum of Industry not whole wheat or wonder bread.

I appreciate a reminder that it all could end tomorrow but it being the lead on every news outlet everyday accompanied by apathetic commentary that is an assault on the senses.

Look at me!? I'm doing it too. So I'll leave you with this...."Oh stewardess, I speak jive." thinking about this week has kept me laughing. "Ma Mamma didn't raise no dummies. I dug her rap."

brevity

2009-02-05T15:30:00.003-05:00

Over the last few months I've done a lot of explaining about why I don't write long messages.

Explaining why has taken a lot of words.

But in explaining this philosophy (I don't know what else to call it) of mine I found myself spouting poetically.

Lately I have been putting down books that don't grab me as far as writing style is concerned. The content is compelling to say the least but without a smooth road for this mind to roll down I just don't have the energy.

One main influence for this probably corporate e-mail. I constantly edit, cut, revise to remove any question or interpretation to my message. Another influence is my experience in tech support. While blind-folded I had to tell folks, without ambiguity, how to use things as they were designed to be used (note the tongue-in-cheek).

Say it without wasting time.

Say it with no room for interpretation.

Get the point across.

Get out alive.

Swing 'n a miss

2009-02-03T23:21:00.002-05:00

So, I finally engage the matriarch. Then I don't understand why we agree. WTF. I repeat....W.T.F!!!

I will understand one day. However, I don' t know if I already understand. OMG, I'm screwed. I know who the stronger sex is. Do I have to scream it?!

If we agree and I have a high opinion of myself then who was right first? Damn it, I'm either really American or really a man because I need to know who was right first. I don't care who was 2nd but I need to know for posturing sake.

If Be gets me a beer in March with the top off then my failure will be complete. But what if I am OK with that!?

Apples

2009-02-03T23:16:00.002-05:00

Why does 1 bad apple spoil the whole bunch?

I have been talking with people who make me remember how consistently awesome I am. So why does the silence from the other side of the stage resound louder than the snuggie who loves me!?

Broken hearts suck, suck, suck!!!! Even if it is a man-crush in a hetro, I need more peers.... way.

P.S. Bose headphones are the nicest thing you can do to your ears.

The face rings a bell

2009-01-29T18:31:00.003-05:00

I got a haircut today, one of my favorite things to do. On a morning talk show was the scuttle-butt over Jessica Simpson's scuttle-butt. She has put on a few and I say beauty is within and hotness is at the core (just like mother earth).

Then they said something like we get to choose the best of the best picture to put on facebook and celebs get photos taken at most inopportune times.

I think I will choose the most unflatering picture of me so when people see me in person it will always be like, "Hey there dream boat." and I'll be like, "Sorry darlin' all of this is spoken for." and they will cry and I'll feel all hot.

So, I'm going on a chocolate, cheese and beer bender so I can get ready for my close-up.

Giddy-up

2009-01-26T19:08:00.002-05:00

After a down week I'm back to my gregarious self. Geez the blues suck. As an emotional state, not as a music genre.

I have a lot of volunteer events coming up. Separately they are wonderful, but they are happening back-to-back. That seems to happen in Nov-Dec and Jan-Feb to me. I'll do benefit rides in the warm weather and community service in the Winter. But what do I give up? Being a jolly ole elf or toting barges and lifting bails? They both have their rewards.

Speaking of benefit rides: be prepared I only ask for one cause and that is the MS ride. I'll start fund-raising soon.

Birthday blues

2009-01-24T08:39:00.002-05:00

I had a Birthday recently & it was not a good one for no other reason than I couldn't get happy. I don't remember when I have been this bummed about a birthday before. It has happened and I vowed I would celebrate me and just have fun with the whole thing. But no matter how I tried I couldn't find that wonder.

Today is a different day, the day the family will be together and we will celebrate me. Today I am excited and giddy like a kid should be. Perhapse it was the disconnect of the daily grind that got me down before.

Surround yourself with the people who can't get away and make them buy you a cake. That is what I suggest to anyone who is down on their b-day.

Working on a dream

2009-01-22T06:39:00.002-05:00

======================================================

May he turned 21 on the base of Ft. Bliss.

"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist.

======================================================

These days I sit around laughing at all the rivers I've crossed

But on the far side there is always another forest where a man gets lost

well high in the trees where loves blue birds glide,

guiding 'cross to another river on the other side

=====================================================

I called upon my brother just the other day

He said, "Don I'm gonna die if I don't start to live again.

I work each day like clock work just trying to make ends meet.

I could kick this fair world's ass if I could just get on my feet."

=====================================================

Had an Angel of mercy to see me through all of my sins

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How high can you fly with broken wings

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is a journey not a destination

=====================================================

time warp

2009-01-15T15:44:00.003-05:00

I am now re-connected to people I haven't talked to in nearly 20 years. It is odd to mentally wander the path from then to now. There are plenty of potholes, unturned/turned stones and other unsavoriness on that road. Some are of my making. Some are of my design. Some are not. Some don't even exist but no one else knows that but me.

Wanna know a secret? There are times in my life I was a jackass (either real or perceived).

Wanna know another secret? That is Okay because so have you, and your childhood neighbor and the priest that baptized you. As my Mom says, "They all put their pants on one leg at time just like you."

I ran so far away from some of those haunting 'clips' that run ad nauseam in my memory. But I have no regrets in life, right?

I read a book recently that postulates relationship is the 'image' God was using during creation. That the whole reason we are on this planet is to get along, fight (since we have free will) and get along again.

My door is open and that leaves me vulnerable. I'd rather be vulnerable and a friend to those who won't take advantage than to be closed off to the world and be 'safe'.

Lifting my leg

2009-01-11T06:38:00.003-05:00

As you may have noticed, I have a BLOG. I'm on Facebook now too. I keep a journal for 7and8 with details that will take them a couple of readings to understand. Dylan Thomas might say I'm 'raging against the dying of the light'.

Who cares or will care about what I had to say? I don't know. I do this more for me in the present than you or them in the future. Although, I'm quite happy to share.

Where I come from if you wanted to BLOG you got spray paint and found the most accessible overpass.

I guess I am marking my territory and will continue to do so. I find it quite therapeutic.

Now, if you will excuse me I have to carve my initials in a picnic table at the park.

Neat day off

2009-01-09T06:32:00.002-05:00

I guess it isn't enough that I display my emotions for the world to see, so I joined facebook. God help me, like I needed another time suck. But it is supremely satisfactory to connect with folks. Musty memories surface but are eclipsed by the sweet ones. To those who have followed my FB link...Welcome or welcome back.

But I also dropped $350 on skating and hockey stuff for the boys.

T.E. is right, I am a sucker.

Precipitation

2009-01-07T07:05:00.003-05:00

This Winter is much different from last. Last year we had a few snow storms with mostly wet heavy snow. Very hard to move and it landed my snowblower in the shop this season. The snow-thrower in the shop was a minor inconvenience since the day after I took it to the shop the snow started to fall. Luckily I have awesome neighbors who helped me tremendously.

Well now I'm ready to go again. The snowblower is back and probably better off than the day I bought it. It won't matter much today as we are getting icy, rainy, and as the weather chick put it, 'undefinable' precipitation. School is delayed 2 hours as a result.

I haven't had to deal with a 2 hour delay since 1984. I'm just glad it isn't a snow day that will be tacked on the end of the school year.

More little things

2008-12-29T16:45:00.002-05:00

Ice skating on a Saturday afternoon to "Jack & Diane"

Red cheeks of exertion/exhaustion

Laughing with the wife so hard that our unspoken conversation keeps getting funnier

Acoustic melodies

Pause, paws, Pa's

People watching when you are the one dry, upright or otherwise unscathed

Being wet, upside down or otherwise scathed - it means you probably tried something new

The cool side of the pillow

Realizing you are late because the book you were reading was too good to stop reading (or the dog in your lap was too snugly warm)

The 'oh I forgot about this awesome part' feeling with a movie you know by heart but haven't seen in 10 years

Hearing teenagers talk about 'Twilight' like it matters

Being a teenager and talking about 'Lost Boys' like it matters

The Heavy Ink envelope in the mailbox

Hearing adults talk about money like it matters

Being an adult knowing money matters

Not missing the garbage truck

Not having to come up with something to talk about

Ass Deep

2008-12-22T06:15:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I watched in the rain as animals (2x2) where loaded on to a large wooden boat our Hebrew neighbor had built.

Over the last few days our driveway has been entirely covered in 'the white stuff' as the Storm Factor Force Team armed with Doppler Pi like to call it.

It was nice to have a decision made for me this week. Been bustin' my hump at the Humidifier plant ( I don't really work at a mfg. of Humidifiers, just being vague + cheeky). It has been satisfyingly busy. I instruct 7and8 to embrace failure as a learning tool but having been humbled a few times this week (I didn't torque the kunuter valve to spec) I am reminded how it feels. The mandatory decision BTW was to stay home yesterday and wonder when my snow thrower would be fixed while I weighed if a chiropractor was a better course of action vs. acupuncture vs. massage vs. Rum. Since we were snowed in Rum won. Maybe next time I'll have 7 wear my golf spikes and walk on my back... that could be a $1,000,000 idea or 'child labor' since kids should only sweat if they are running around on a non-competitive field these days.

Happy shoveling

Sage advice

2008-12-20T20:43:00.002-05:00

Best complement ever: "Everyone needs a (insert your name here)"

Isn't that just an awesome accolade? You would feel pretty damn good if someone said that about you. What if you believe it but not in a conceited way? How do you tell someone that you have skills but don't want to come off as a braggart. I know how awesome I am but I'd like to share that awesomeness with the world, however the world must open the door. Otherwise I'm just a prick.

Don't get me wrong , I have plenty of flaws and often beat myself senseless into a crying heap of self loathing with those traits. But there are moments when I know my little flame can help light the world. How would you show your light without setting people on fire?

At one point I figured love would find me as soon as I stopped looking. It is like ensuring the waitress will come up as soon as you take a mouthful. I guess I should just continue being me and hope that when it is my time to shine, that my light will be seen (one if by land, two by sea).

Socially slow

2008-12-19T18:11:00.002-05:00

I had to go to one of my least favorite places this week...the car dealership. I would have done the oil change at the local guy but the wife told me to take it to the dealership so they could do the recall on the wiper blades.

*as you read this picture me with even more gray hair + wrinkles (not the monkey) and half-moon reading spectacles*

A young lady sat next to me in the waiting area. As I read my book about how Paul Revere was a brash, bad ass the young lady decided to serenade the waiting room with sounds of her chewing (with an open mouth) her Egg Mc(Freakin')Muffin. But wait there is more, she then decided to call dear ole Mom and Dad and tell them that her horn would soon be fixed and that she didn't have the clap from her latest sleaze fest. BTW she should have shipped her presents earlier and will be home around 2p on 12/24. If she would have given her CC# or phone number I would post that here too since she didn't seem to care who listened to her conversation.
An elder statesman sat near me and commented on the tart's 'tardedness. My response was biblical, "At point are we our brother's keeper?" He didn't know either.

Then the pre-pubescent swinging dick that they call "service care represen'tard" let me know the truck was done and pretty much told me not to let the door hit me in the ass. I just had a freakin' oil change, routine stuff, and this guy shrugs me like young Ms. Muffin's donor from last night. I took the high road as I left but I am pretty sure I'm going to be one mean S.O.B. when I am old enough to pull my pants up to my nipples and use a cane.

Pay-triot

2008-12-02T10:50:00.002-05:00

I read a book recently. I'll give you a moment to pick yourselves off of the floor.

Feel Better? Good.

In reality I read quite a bit. But when it comes to books I'm a 'when it rains, it pours' reader. I've mentioned this part of my personality in previous posts. I get hold of a subject and drill in with all of my attention and idle thoughts. I exhaust what resources I can find and then look for more. this continues until another subject catches my fascination. Currently I'm contemplating celebrating the country's freedom by wearing an iFreedom shirt I bought in Faneuil Hall and shaving my mustache with keeping the beard.

A recent book was by Sarah Vowell, 'Assassination Vacation'. She takes the Robert Todd-Lincoln trifecta of Presidential assassinations and walks where the players walk. She doesn't just go to Ford's Theater and cap it off at the Lincoln Memorial. She traces Booth's get away route, Mudd's prison cell, etc. Then she moves on to do the same for Garfield and McKinley. It is a good book and I can't wait to read more.

You can't talk about this time in American history without talking about slavery. Guess what I've learned, you can't talk about America at all with out talking about slavery. Slavery, Native Americans, Hawaii and The Philippines. It is hard to love the country and not be a bit embarrassed about it's mistakes. Having gone down memory lane this past Thanksgiving weekend I come to realize this same love/embarrassment dynamic exists with family.

I got very angry during American History class with Mrs. R. when she would only silently acknowledge the red, white and blue shaft we gave to those we took so much from.

How would we react to the Sons of Liberty today? Gitmo I assume.

Here is to our great nation! I'll take the flaws and the freedom but I know the price is higher than this white man can understand.

Uncomfort Zone-defense

2008-11-18T19:42:00.002-05:00

In these uncertain times one starts to look how they can stretch a buck and maybe get a few more. I was talking to my buddy today about how a regular Joe could pad the ole mattress.

Parking Cars, darning socks, bussing tables, 'enforcement' and hair farm for wig mfg. came up but we weren't excited enough about any of these.

I thought again about the dog poo pick up business and pumping septic tanks, but I hear the pay is $#!t.

Given the new governmental administration perhaps the time is now to be a tire gauge man.

I'd get a huge kick out of smacking the rude cashiers at Stop&Shop around.

A comedian suggested working at the suicide hotline. But what if I wanted to call off work because I was feeling a little down?

When I was a teen my mother hinted heavily that I was headed for ditch digging or gas pumping. I could revisit that pie-in-the-sky dream.

My inventions haven't taken off yet either. Backlit furniture with spring loaded drawers are the wave of the future but I don't think Ethan Allen will be sending me a check anytime soon.

I could play the lottery but then I'm funding schools and Lord knows I don't need any more 'appropriately qualified' competition in the workforce.

I'll have more time to think about it after we cancel cable and our magazine subscriptions. I'm off to steal the neighbor's paper to look and see who needs organ donors and then burn the paper to destroy my malfeasance and keep the heat oil bill down.

From: 7 To: 4

2008-11-14T20:38:00.003-05:00

In this particular missive 7&4 are a generation before 7and8...old skool if you will.

Dear 4,

I couldn't help but think of you today. Have you noticed how many messages I send to you start with that phrase? There were 2 times in my life you were an S.O.B. ( I know I just insulted -2 but you get what I'm saying ) everything else I focus on you and I are peas in a pod.

Why was I thinking about you? Good question. I was doing some house wiring and installing a new OS today. Why wouldn't I think about you during these routine and mundane tasks? Now that I think about it, that was a silly question.

Quick quiz

Q: What do Mr. T., 6,000,000 , stinky breath and unconditional love have in common?

A: U and I

get it? I'm so cheesy.

I love you and can't wait to see you again. Here for you always. 7 ->the original

Preparación con siete

2008-11-12T18:54:00.003-05:00

1)Rosa juega con Isabel.

2)El gato come el pastel con Isabel.

3)Antonio mira la bicicleta verde.

4)Antonio juega con la pelota amarilla

5)El gato mira la biciclatal roja

6)Isabel juega con la pelota azul.

7)Pablo juega con el gato.

8)Isabel mira la bicicleta.

9)Rosa juega con la pelota amarilla.

10)Antonio come el taco con Isabel.

Major problem - no CDL

2008-11-06T08:16:00.002-05:00

Dreams are too weird sometimes.

Last night I was upset because the four seater forklift I was a riding in down the interstate didn't have a radio. I think Coach was driving the forklift. I can't be sure because he didn't talk. A faceless female was keeping pace by walking beside the forklift telling Coach how to drive faster. I'll also mention that in my dream people were less than accommodating to someone driving heavy equipment on the Mass Pike which logically connected to I94 in Ypsilanti. Luckily, I finally got to the dry-ice store. We needed dry-ice because we had fresh fish in danger of going bad. The sunset was breathtaking.

Joy and rapture

2008-11-04T06:41:00.002-05:00

7 and 8 learned to arm fart.

Ah, the sounds of boyhood.

I can't wait until lugee season.

Try Amish-ness

2008-10-31T17:13:00.002-04:00

Ed is a friend. I'd be lying if I said we were close. See Ed and I have a give/take relationship. Ed takes my life force and doesn't give a shit until I stop giving.

Yea fortune!! Ed has had some luck (I can't say if it was good or bad). Let us say he won a big screen TV. He never watched much TV but had dreams of an HD set in a huge house in Aspen with a football as big as his head. Ed never had the ambition to actually accomplish this but the dream was a good one and the delusion was enough to entertain anyone who would listen. Alas, I am the only one who listens because I think every human has value.

So, Ed wins the TV but it falls off the hood of his 1977 Mercury Comet on the way home. It was no person's fault. It just happened. Call it an act of God.

On one hand, "damn!" On the other, "oh well, it was free and it was never really mine".

A few weeks later Ed is showing the signs of loss and grief. Ed doesn't know this. He figures that if he doesn't watch TV ever again he won't miss what he never had. He knows where he was going to put it and how he would hook up his X-box and how cool 'Transformers' would look on it. But no. No more TV for Ed for has no outward remorse or sense of loss therefore it never happened.

I want to smack Ed in the teeth with a vacuum cleaner and tell him if he doesn't cry and work through this I'll have to beat his (choose an ethnic skin color) ass until he has a good cry.

Wish me luck and pray for Ed's emotionally constipated heart.

NOTE: It is important to know that Ed doesn't exist. Someone on this earth shares some parts of his personality. The rest was made up and embellished so I could work through this complicated emotional obstacle course. I also made up the TV and the Comet, I did not make up God.

Cheers to POTUS

2008-10-30T11:21:00.002-04:00

Thanks to this nifty inter-thingy-web I was able to find out that bars are open on election day.

My schedule isn't massively busy but when I have to put bar time on the calendar and that only free night is questionable if 'The Crossing" will be open I get a little sweaty. Luckily I can check on this information from the confines of home and not look like a complete booze-hound as I go from pub-to-pub knocking desperately seeking a Guinness.

Inaction is action

2008-10-15T07:04:00.002-04:00

Today is BLOG action day. That means everyone with a BLOG is supposed to talk about the same societal problem so water cooler leaches everywhere say things like, "Dude I read this awesome BLOG about poverty and how bad it is. I'm totally doing something about that." Thus inspiring a nation, nay a world, to solve the problem so comments can mature into, "Dude, remember that time we solved poverty?...that was awesome."

I'm sure the last thing on most BLOGgers mind was action. I'm betting they were hoping to get rich by posting their opinions. The most action involved is lifting the pinky to hit . So here is to the impoverished (who won't be able to read this message). Come on folks; stop reading so we can make poverty like so '90s.

Sing-a-long. Or is it alone?

2008-10-10T19:03:00.003-04:00

I have a predictable pattern of behavior. I don't want to call it a habit because then I would have to "get help".

On Friday nights I have a drink or three and listen to music. Usually the wife is here to share this as we solve the problems of our world and fall in love again. Tonight she is traveling home so you guys are the lucky audience. Now if you are my cousin you are feeling a little betrayed right now because I just sent a variation of this message to you (but I sent it to you 1st). I also tips-e-mail, which is like drunk dialing, but again, I don't have a problem (honestly Dee, this is not a cry for help rather a simple bout of humor, seriously).

This week's musical horizon expander is: 'You Gotta Go' by Chase the Sun. A nice blues song that will make you want that loved one gone or elate you because you don't have this problem.

He is learning

2008-10-06T20:10:00.001-04:00

8 just told me that he could wreck his covers in one night and, "That is how I roll for some reason."

Crap-billitation

2008-09-28T19:11:00.002-04:00

I'm sicker than I have been in a long time. I hope this evil is about done burning through me.

I have my appetite back now, but my stomach is wondering what the hell I just put into it.

I'd rather sweat my body weight on a century than be bed ridden wondering when Death will knock on the door.

Wine-er

2008-08-15T19:07:00.002-04:00

The wife works for a company with a HEAVY European influence. So when she goes out to dinner there is a lesson in wine.

Last Christmas she gets a nice bottle for a gift from her boss.

-----jump ahead 6 mos.-----

The wife is gone on business and a neighbor invites us over for a little impromptu pizza party. (have you seen where this is going yet?)

I can't stand to go empty handed, but it is only a pizza party and mainly for kids. So I grab one of the dusty bottles from the wine rack and head on over (if you can't tell what is happening yet you need help).

I grabbed what I come to find out that it was the bottle that the boss gave her and that it was a very, very nice bottle of wine that I can't replace.

Luckily the dog house roof doesn't leak.

Pedaling backwards

2008-08-15T08:39:00.002-04:00

Since the wife is traveling I've had to keep all of my workouts indoors this week. I found a classic VH1 station to watch and have been enjoying the videos I forgotten long ago.

I have noticed how '80s popular singers were uglier compared to todays performers. However, today's pretty ones can't seem to stay out of trouble/rehab. Maybe I'm being too nostalgic, plenty of the 80s crowd did their stint on a clean ward.

Here's to Glory Days!

Stupid Summer

2008-08-13T18:56:00.001-04:00

I can't BLOG right now. Summer is eating all of my time and chewing viscously on my soul.

No, I really like the season. I just wish it were a bit more predictable. Can anyone say "Bo has a cast iron box"?

A lesson you learn the first time

2008-08-06T07:26:00.002-04:00

I advise against stopping for White Castles after a long road trip and then sharing a hotel room with your father who already predisposed to gastronomic exuberance.

-those were the good ole days, right Dad?

Picture of a microwave?

2008-07-21T10:18:00.002-04:00

I have some experience with computers as most of you know. It has been a number of years since I have used a productivity app. and I had to create a document.

I wanted this document to live on in a digital existence as I knew I'd need it again someday.

So I go to save this fine piece of work and I find myself humbled that I can't find the 'save' button. I know it is around here somewhere. It had a picture on it. If I could only remember which picture. I'll just mouse over the icons and see which one I need. Geez!, that is a funny picture that looks vaguely familiar.

Oh crap it's a 3.5 inch floppy disc! Boy they are going to have to change that, but to what?

Pretend this is Twitter

2008-07-15T20:12:00.002-04:00

Why do women have such a raw deal? Hell the shoes alone...

How much would a comic book maker make if a comic book maker made comics?

Should I buy my own torque wrench?

Can young boys become so excited that they combust?

What is for dinner any given night? Maybe I should just make a menu wheel of chance.

My ankle hurts...stay tuned.

Awarness Test

2008-07-15T02:05:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahg6qcgoay4

I found this particularly entertaining at 2a.

Back to the grid

2008-07-08T11:02:00.002-04:00

What am I talking about? There is no grid here. We are back from our insanely fun vacation. A lot of traveling and family hugging. We even tried to conference call during fireworks. Saw St. Louis Arch and was humbled by what Lewis and Clark did. Our heritage is always a mixed bag for me. But I put it with my spirit of adventure.

Historic trip

2008-06-30T08:16:00.002-04:00

The Cape Cod Getaway 2008 is in the books and I'm so glad I made it. I'm sure there are things I could point out that were not ideal about the experience but right now I'm flying so high about this accomplishment that the little things are all in perspective. This wouldn't have happened without those that made this goal attainable for me. Thank you to the wife and kids, the trainer, the riding partner(s) and my support system that donated*. Wachusett Brew Co. and all of the sponsors that gave me free stuff.

So what the hell did I do?

I'm glad you asked. I participated in a fundraiser for the National MS society. I rode 150+ miles from Quincy MA. out Cape Cod to Provincetown. We rode 75 miles on Sat and Sun. This cause hits close to home in a number of ways: Sister-in-law & Friend from college both have been diagnosed with MS and my sister specializes in the treatment of this debilitating disease. Those factors combined with my muscles that work and passion for cycling made this a no-brainer but still very scary stretch goal. *Visit my personal page for this event and make a donation. After having met so many affected from riders, volunteers and just those in need...I'll tell you this money goes to good use.

Any interesting anecdotes from this ride?

Again, I'm glad you asked and may I say your tone is pleasant and soothing. Most notably is that I had my first bike crash. I'm limping around right now but I'll live to ride again soon. The cool thing is that it doesn't hurt at all to ride but to walk to the bike is painful.

The next most memorable was the party boat from P-town back to Quincy. All of my tired cycling brethren & sister-en bonded over LOUD music and much frivolity.

*Did I mention that you can still donate and that I spilled blood on asphalt?

Combo of words that I never expected to say:

2008-06-22T19:35:00.001-04:00

"8 Middlename Lastname, You better put that dreidel way or so help me..."

Weight lifting

2008-06-20T07:35:00.002-04:00

Feeling much better.

Kids calming down

Spouse in-country

Sitter em-polyed

And I'm stopping to get a bottle of rum after the last baseball practice.

I would like to share that I can ride my road-bike without holding on to the handlebars (really and for true Jason). I have been trying to do this on/off for 3 seasons. I don't know what clicked. Next challenge, the wheelie! Stay tuned.

Summer weight

2008-06-17T17:59:00.002-04:00

Last 1/2 day of school tomorrow. X-treme Daddy time starts at 10:31. I'm having pangs of "How the hell am I going to do all of this summer stuff?" About the time I figure it out school will be back in session and I'll wonder how I will get them on the bus in the morning and ball practice in the evenings.

This past Father's day was memorable. It was a good day but somehow I did more exerting than relaxing. Oh poor me - right? I mean how unfortunate am I to have a loving family. The reality is that my Dadderies (ya like that one? get it : Dad+batteries) are running low. It isn't any different than climbing a wicked large hill. Just keep the pedals moving and you will eventually get there. But it is still tiring.

Here is to loosing myself in Summer fun so that I forget the stupid real world.

Who me, uneasy?

2008-06-11T19:10:00.002-04:00

Ah Summer. Scorching heat and relentless humidity. Good thing I have friends with pools. One friend is so nice that she has an open pool policy. Anytime, just come on over.

Having been to two pool parties I am reminded of something. I'm a stay-at-home-guy. Geez, I can't believe I forgot. Quick quiz: Q-What is the loudest sound in the suburbs? A-The awkward silence created by a dude walking into a pool-side sewing circle.

Maybe it's me. Maybe it's the gals. Now to be honest it doesn't stay awkward for long. Ladies are always quicker to break down walls and forge relationships. Guys are always awkward 'cause they don't want to be too 'gay' ya know. But that is coming from a sappy drunk who loves his friends.

See you at the pool and I bet I say hi before you do.

Pooped

2008-06-06T18:03:00.002-04:00

I mean the title as a synonym for tiredness or needing refreshing. I'm usually a positive guy and don't mind a back-breaking day of work or business (I didn't misspell that did I).

The last few weeks have had days. you know 'those days'. It is only hitting me now, on a weekend where I need extra amounts of boosted-octane back-up reserve energy and patients. This is more emotional exhaustion combined with a physical depletion. Maybe I'm starting this busy weekend with the wrong outlook. All the things I have to do are fun. Screw it. I'm not going to be drained by these events. I will allow them to recharge me and fill the air with my genuine laughter that makes people look over their shoulder with a smirk and say, "That must be Bo."

BTW if you are down and BLOGging one should have a cocktail before infecting other's moods. Cheers to you my friends who read this and miss me. C'mon, you know you do. Everyone could benefit from a Bo hug;) I love you all and I'm going to get a 2nd drink that will make me even more wistful.

Old ride

2008-05-29T19:51:00.002-04:00

I fulfilled a 2 year ambition today. I hooked up the trail-a-bike (TAB) and biked 8 to school. It was a pretty cool event. We parked the TAB at school and I went on to work. I make this commute quite often and am always thankful when the weather agrees with me.

Now, the bike guru once told me in no uncertain terms to never hook the TAB up to the newer road bike. I don't think there is any technical incompatibility but rather a sever style infraction. I'm too closely associated with said guru so I heeded this commandment. That means I had to ride my old bike (OB)*. Now this in itself raises many style infraction points, but what the hell it's a noble bike and worthy of a workout.

The first 1/4 of the commute was nice. I got reacquainted with OB. Standing to pedal was quite different than I remember. The suspension seatpost and cushy seat was a welcome and novel change.

At the 1/2 way point I was scrubbing the thoughts of updating or upgrading OB as everything was working very well.

3/4 I was wondering why it was taking me so long to get to work (mind you I was in no hurry). I was remembering rather well why I had purchased a new bike.

3/16 point I'm wondering if I will get to the shop today or should I have packed a meal and tent.

7/8 and I'm wondering who the bastard was that decided to make this thing the approximate weight of a dead body, where can I find him and how I will laugh when I hit him with OB.

100 ft to go and I start thanking the Lord and promising that I will always be nice and go to church every week and give too much to those less fortunate.

I got to work 5 minutes later than normal; the boss was cool because he saw me pull up on OB and offered his condolences. I started recanting and re-qualifying all the promises I made to the Holy Father because it wasn't really fair and I was just thirsty and...

I still love OB and won't trade until a good deal or a random whim comes along. But I was also reminded where I started and how far I've come. So if you ever have a chance to "ride your old bike" (whatever that means to you) do so and be comfortable in the knowledge that the road is long and a journey is more valuable realizing there is someone (like a bicycle designer) who deserves a kick in the jimmy for making it harder on you than it needed to be.

*please note how un-crazy I am as I do not name my transportation.

What's 'up-dog' ?

2008-05-20T06:34:00.002-04:00

Life must be getting busy since I haven't been posting regularly. It must be good and busy since nothing has moved me enough to drag it onto this public forum.

Things on my wandering mind:

Has anyone seen the PSA about BLOGging? It follows this young girl through a day running errands and everyone she makes eye contact with makes a comment. The comments get more and more personal until the announcer comes on and gives the message, "Any one can see what you post so keep an eye on your kids and don't post like a moron." or something to that effect. - - Must have been a good add. Like "your brain on drugs" the message stuck. Marketing folk would classify that as a major win. Right P?

I spent too much time yesterday looking for TV theme songs. Nostalgia grabbed hold of my iTunes account and went to town. I still don't have all of the songs I want but I know every now and then 'Blues Traveler' and 'Weird Al' will be punctuated with the likes of themes from 'ER', 'Night Court', 'Cheers'. Themes I didn't buy but considered heavily; 'A-Team', 'M*A*S*H' (couldn't find a satisfactory recording/version). What TV show themes do you remember? Whether it is because you love it or you can't get the damn tune out of your head.

When I ask questions to my audience like the one above why don't more of you chime in? Posting comments isn't as dangerous as writing a BLOG. You can choose to be anonymous.

I've been background processing the implications of 'the bomb' and it's use in WWII. What a big ole pile of stinky conundrum.

Back from vacation

2008-05-13T07:31:00.002-04:00

Nothing philosophical this morning. Just glad we didn't have a bad vacation.

I'm always surprised how nice it is to get away and how nice it is to come back. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' and all that jazz.

Visiting retirees makes me think about the future and how we should adjust the present.

8s new favorite ride....Splash Mountain, at least until his Darth Maul face paint started to run.

Suggest or just smile

2008-04-24T15:26:00.003-04:00

At what point does one keep their mouth shut or spout advice? Obviously everyone is different. I don't know if I can ever keep my mouth shut. If I don't express my thoughts they just fester and mentally constipate me (I get the purple face and everything).

But as I progress on in years (don't laugh K) I find opportunities to impart my life experiences that may save others some grief. Have you ever been through something and thought, "Why didn't anyone tell me it was going to be like this?"

Then there are those among us who cannot take any kind of advice. Not even, 'don't pee on that electric fence' kind of advice.

Also consider that it is funny to watch someone else screw up especially if I know they aren't going to get hurt.

Maybe I'll just make a 'wheel of answers' with spaces on it like 'Drop Knowledge' and 'Enjoy this yutz get'n schooled','Intellectually Bankrupt' and 'Shut up and grin'.

Different perspective

2008-04-14T15:28:00.001-04:00

Caution: Unbalanced Children Zone

Enough about me!

2008-04-09T06:33:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a while because I am in the way of my muse. At this point someone might describe the muse or other component they are looking for. But I can't because I only know it when I see it. Lately I've been very focused on the new job, eating style (i.e. diet), exercise, Oh yea and 7and8. I don't want to post every success or bump on the weight loss road, that isn't what this BLOG is about. I like looking at things in the world (especially surrounding 7and8) and exposing how funny they are in the grand scheme of things. I never have trouble explaining the embarrassing or self-deprecating things here but for some reason I feel like it would be glad-handing to regularly note successes. (Whoa, that is deep. Someone needs to add that one to the 'therapy' list.)

Until I next time when I might just see past myself.

Not too far from the tree

2008-04-01T08:08:00.002-04:00

I've known for some time that I share a number of traits with my Father. Genetically speaking this statement is an obvious one. As any normal adolescent I denied them and swore (say it with me) "I won't be like my Father." Maturity happened and now I realize that I'd rather be like my Father than like a lot of people out there.

My Father is a dyed-in-the-cast salesman. He's made a lot of money doing it for many years. It is what he was born to be.

I was told the other day that I was a natural salesman (not the first time I've heard this). Maybe it's time to embrace this legacy.

Here's to you old man!

Good with the bad

2008-03-23T13:20:00.002-04:00

I wrote a while ago about my disappointment in a lack of weight loss. I appreciate the support I was given and feel I should also put a success out here too. According to my calculations I have lost 9 lbs. and counting.

In related news I am feeling much stronger on the bike recently. A few weeks ago everyone I was riding with kept asking if I was alright with a 'I'm ready to dial 911' look on their faces.

Thanks everyone:)

Who'da thunk it?

2008-03-23T13:15:00.002-04:00

Have you ever had one of those moments when you have a conversation with your self and say, "Self, I wish I could one day learn to *shut-up, listen and observe. Just take it in and not feel obligated to add my dismal wisdom or opinion." *insert your own self directed goal.

I found out the other day that I have achieved this goal. I didn't know I had. I mean isn't there supposed to be confetti and marching bands when a goal is achieved?

Then again Steven Tyler tells me that life is a journey not a destination.

up, up and awake!

2008-03-19T06:29:00.003-04:00

I just woke up from a flying dream. They are so cool. I haven't had too many in my life but I've enjoyed every one of them.

This was a little different. I was in an F-16. Tony was flying (very close to the ground by the way). He spun upside down and I saw my feet fall toward the canopy. Then we flew through my old high school and then in to the Apollo 12 command module (this is when I figured out it was a dream).

The wife jolted me from a peaceful, airborne slumber by snapping the light on, what a rude awakening.

Sweet dreams dear readers.

Half-assed in the saddle

2008-03-06T14:22:00.002-05:00

I started my part-time gig with the local bicycle shop. Which means I'm not only in the saddle but selling them too.

One of the best first days at a job ever!

Maybe I'll ride to work tomorrow.

Here is to trying something new. Cheers

Stupid numbers

2008-03-05T07:36:00.002-05:00

Numbers and I have been at odds (unintentional pun) since my pre-algebra days. Today they downright pissed me off.

I am overweight. Clinically I am morbidly obese (bad life style but an awesome name for a band). I am trying to change this by following the wife's lead and doing the Weight Watchers program. It has worked before and it will work again. I am starting week 3. I started off at 253 lbs. and after two weeks feeling great the scales says I have only lost 3 lbs. I really wish I didn't have to step on that damn thing. Logically I know this is a short term disappointment and that the way I feel right now is the payoff I should be concentrating on. But this stupid number (not to mention the dismal weather, and business travel loneliness) makes me want to whole-up on Dunkin' and pout binge-style.

However, I WILL NOT! I will listen to Don Henley's "I will not go quietly" and walk the dogs while I try not to demonize a soulless plastic-cased printed circuit board. Instead I will think about how good spin class felt last night and how good it feels to not be bloated and irregular.

I tell you all of this self-revealing truth because if I don't express these emotions I wind up in a dark mental spiral that ends at the Dunkin' Drive Thru. And what better way to wash down some guilt but with a king size value meal from BK for lunch and a pizza for dinner that goes so well with beer. Instead I will BLOG it out of my system and continue on my healthy journey.

See you on the road:)

Say it all in six words

2008-03-03T10:09:00.002-05:00

I read an article about brevity in writing. Apparently a lot can be said in six words. I'm not doing so well with this post.

Let me try harder:

Flowery writing is overrated. There is a time for eloquence. I excel at expounding and overstating. Try it yourself if you dare. It takes longer to write in short. Less to spell check. I feel like I should illustrate. I believe less is more. It is certainly more time consuming.

Until next time my true believers.

Double standard

2008-02-27T17:14:00.002-05:00

I don't usually get riled at news stories as every report is slanted and the media at large is a big pile of goop. I also know life isn't fair and all that. However, I must comment on the following (i didn't write the corny line):

"The mayor of an Oregon town who once stripped to her underwear and posed on a fire truck has been stripped of her job"

Didn't the Governor of California appear totally nude in "Terminator"?

The details are arguable but HER side of the story seems just as legit Arnold's.

I'd rant more but I just stomped a hole in my soapbox.

The toy question

2008-02-25T10:00:00.002-05:00

7and8 have 3 states of room cleanliness:

-Not clean

-Clean

-Vacuum clean

Once every two or three weeks I request the room be vacuum clean so I can go in to vacuum with out sucking up a tie fighters yield of LEGOs. On normal days we simply request that they clear a path to the bed and window so we can shut the shades and give snuggles at bed time without embedding LEGOs into our soles like some freak Danish coming of age ritual.

I have known for some time that toys are bought for the parent not the kids. So I will take responsibility here and now and say we have too much crap. A garage sale is coming, or grand donation or a lot of recycling.

The worst of it is the fast food kids meal toys. This stuff is a blight on the planet. I know there is a race to make a car that runs on happiness and jellybeans but in the meantime McKindys pumps out a metric ton of plastic every minute.

The frustration you read here is frustration at myself for thinking things like, "if we find the Yoda & Kybuck with the exclusive collector coin from the clone wars cartoon we'll only have two yodas but will replace the lightsaber 7and8 lost 2 minutes after getting the first one."

Add to this that when the kids get tired of their toys they play with empty boxes and sticks and have a fabulous time doing it. Seriously how much of a chump am I?

Let's hope I can adjust this behavior.

blocked

2008-02-24T07:17:00.002-05:00

I have wanted to post something for the past few days but it seems that my writer's block is flaring up. So I'm going to write through it and write what I know and all of the other great advice I've heard on TV.

My leg got hurt somehow so I called my medically inclined sister and described the circumstances. She said she couldn't really tell me anything unless she saw it. So I offered to start a video conference just like on "House M.D.". She laughed very hard for quite some time. I still don't know why that was so funny.

There was a lot of snow dropped on NE in Friday. We went sledding yesterday and was that a blast. The kids wienered out too early but we had fun anyway. I think I need to replace a belt on the snow-thrower. It just a'int chuckin' it like it used to.

I watched the documentaries on "The Terminator" special edition DVD yesterday. What a great movie. They told so many stories how the chips where stacked against them and they had to use guerilla filming to get things done. The main reason the movie is cool; because it is an awesome story told very well. Then 7and8 watched "Sharkboy & Lavagirl". Dont get me wrong, I'm a Rodriguez (dude who directed the movie) fanboy but this movie was really, really bad. They must have said "Dream" 8,000 times in this cinematic turd. I see why the kids like it though. Speaking of entertainment turds...I'm very disappointed in Knight Rider. It is a shame to because they did a good job on the car. In all interest of fairness it is important that I say I didn't watch it all of the way through. So if it got a buzillion times better after I turned it off then it would have only sucked a lot.

That is all I have right now. I hope to be back on form soon.

...But the face rings a bell

2008-02-16T07:50:00.002-05:00

There are two things about how I look and carry myself that I've heard from so many different sources that it must be true.

1) People think I work there

2) I look like a lot of people

I was at Town Hall yesterday standing there waiting for something when a lady comes up and asks me a question like I work there. Then gives me a 'hrumph' when I said I didn't know the answer to the question. I have given little old ladies so much help in the grocery store and directions to countless mall people.

Throughout my life I've been told that I look like someone they know. And it wasn't just a passing comment. Apparently the resemblances were uncanny. The two most recent happen to be celebrities. Greg Grunberg (Officer Parkman from Heros) and Josh Beckett (wicked-cool Red Sox pitcher)

I know I'm friendly lookin' and quite a nice person. Mom told me I could never lie because I had a face that could be read like a book. I guess I'd rather be mistaken for someone helpful or friendly than everyone running in horror at the sight of me.

What didn't suck

2008-02-15T15:59:00.002-05:00

This week has been a tough one. But rather than regale you with how life threw us curves I will do just the opposite because I don't want *sympathy or to depress y'all.

I didn't get a flat tire
My nose cleared up
Had a great scout party (they had cookies at that party, and a magician)
Didn't stub my toe
Watched new 'T2' extreme edition DVD (what a great movie)
Watched some parts of 'Empire...' with the boys (how cool is that)
Built with LEGOs
Cleaned the bathrooms (this really is a plus for me, I love that antiseptic smell and not looking at dried urine)
Found a snack size 3 musketeer in my back pack...and ate it

You get the idea; for every burnt casserole there is a pizza night. Or you could talk about the silver lining thing. I always ask 7and8 this question and now would like to pose it to you: What was the coolest part of your week?

*My mother says if you want sympathy it can be found in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Can you believe she kisses me with that mouth?

9 is a bitch, literally

2008-02-06T16:43:00.000-05:00

If you know me you know 7and8 are my kids. Well we also have two dogs. I'll refer to them as 9and10. I want 10 so stop sleeping on my bed and consequently waking me up at 4:freakin':30 am. So I buy a dog bed. We have bought dog beds in the past and usually got them at target and don't feel guilty about throwing them away and getting a new one if the need arises. But I had other very specific doggy needs to fulfill so I go to the pet store. (It's obvious that bars are cash cows. Boy do they see us coming. Well I think pet stores are a close second. The amount of different crap you can buy for a single reason is mind boggling.) another note of interest is that I'm a sucker.

So I spend too much on a dog bed but rationalize it that it's more durable and easier to clean and the design isn't so garishly obvious, bla bla. 10 loves it but 9 is the alpha so she gets first crack at it and 10 won't go near it. That is OK however since 10 prefers sleeping on my bed anyway!

I have to wait for a new job to start so I can afford another expensive dog bed....did I mention that pet stores see me coming?

Can't win for winning

2008-01-31T13:37:00.000-05:00

My stint at the moped manufacturer was drawing to a close and I though, "I'd really like the brand new, ultra sleek and sexy x2. "Hey I'm having a birthday and I can use the employee discount"

I bought them for me, and I got the discount and I am very happy with the x2. Then the moped company put them on extra-special sale for a price less than I paid, "Golly gee." said I. Then I get a call on my day off with the news that I won an x2 in the employee raffle. "Good gravy."

That is what I get for being impulsively indulgent.

Are you sure?

2008-01-26T17:48:00.000-05:00

I hate old e-mail. I want to save it (say it with me) just in case I need it. But I also consider myself a minimalist or at least a little organized. The wife has tax returns dating from the Reagan administration. I set a reasonable time (sometimes advised by an expert) and then I want to chuck it in the trash/recycle or otherwise eliminate it from my world.

Jason threw me for a loop the other day when he sent me a message with a statement so profound I don't want to throw it away but I also don't want to create a folder labeled "Universal truths" (I'd only have his message in it). Jason said, "kids don't REALLY care about homework in the same way you don't REALLY care about your job a lot of the time ". That is some damn perspective to me. I don't care about those TPS reports when 7 has a pinewood derby to prepare for. Don't get me wrong I'm from stubborn, work-till-you-die, anything worth doing is worth doing well, stock. But I know the world won't end if I don't answer 70 calls/day for people who need to reboot their coffee machine. Some folks have more important jobs, but even Superman takes a break as Clark Kent regularly to enjoy being human.

A few words to the faithful

2008-01-26T07:06:00.000-05:00

I'm not talking fidelity here people. I'm talking about you. Thank you for being my audience. Those who come here and read me. I mean this quite figuratively and I learned this from your comments (public and private). Some have said, "It sounds just like the way you talk." and "I can imagine how you would say that." you are seeing a side many don't and that helps this BLOG become a place where I can leave the energy that I need to leave for better or worse.

I thank you again and pledge I will exploit my viewpoint for your entertainment.

Given all of that genuine sappy gratitude I leave you with:

One of those congregation of words that amazes me could possibly exist together in a meaningful sentence. "Honey, can you go home and get the blowtorch?" BTW she didn't and I had to run and not only get the blowtorch but my designated blowtorch spoon.

The little things (and 4 big ones)

2008-01-21T06:06:00.000-05:00

A clean counter top
the cool side of the pillow
the "I love this song!" moment
8 saying chicken marpesan (it is supposed to be parmesan)
a genuine laugh
a fully charged battery
time to crap
a job well done
chocolate where you try to find it
a deep cleansing breath
smooth jazz
more hours of sunshine
saying no
a cry that you didn't know you needed
deafening silence
7 reading
knowing there are little things to look for
a clear lint trap
a stretch in the morning that punctuates a good night's sleep
the warm trickle of water from you ear hours after swimming that lets you hear better
7 saying "Remember that time we..." and you do and it was as awesome as he remembers
2 extra minutes under a hot shower
that goofy feeling when you've talking to yourself and you realize someone was listening
being able to laugh at yourself and being OK with it
the moment before you pick up that new book
the moment as you set down that new book you just finished (within the same fiscal year)

Though nut to swallow

2008-01-16T11:31:00.000-05:00

"What if the person you are is the person you are supposed to be?"

I guess you would have to subscribe to the concept of fate and destiny to fully contemplate this fascinating line. I heard this as a tag line for a TV show (of all places). I mean really all I wanted to do is see someone fall off of the jousting platform on American Gladiators and then this damn line comes up.

We are busting our butts trying to see how the work schedule fits meanwhile throwing home-life into turmoil. Arranging and rearranging child care, running pillar to post. But would I be more productive shouting at the wind?

I guess the best test to see if something will stand up is to shake it. Well if this is the case then I guess my returning to work full-time is a solid structure built firmly on a foundation of dense J-ello.

Snow Day

2008-01-14T15:48:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs a snow day. The last time it snowed like hell I busted my ass getting to and from the sun-fish cannery I work at. This morning I couldn't see but 30ft in front of me. Since then I've worked on scout projects, played with action figures and watched a Pirates movie with 7and8. Not to mention the shoveling and snow blowing. I only feel a little like a slacker but it helps to know that no one is going to die if I don't can sun-fish today.

God's Peace be with you.

BTW - to really mess with someone next time you need to give your phone number... give it in 2 number bursts rather than the 3-3-4 bursts convention dictates. I also like it when someone says the last 4 then tell them the exchange and area code last.

No good deed

2008-01-09T16:42:00.000-05:00

I was spoken to yesterday. Frankly, I deserved it. A customer called the Canned Meat Hotline (by whom I'm not really employed) and I helped her. She was very thankful and appreciative. So where did I go wrong? Quality. The ultimate corporate punch-line. I was hired to answer calls about canned meat and give outstanding customer service. That is what I did but I didn't follow the steps I am supposed to use and (shame on me). I know I wasn't following the steps and the result would have been the same I was sucked into the problem (which I resolved absolutely and with a great deal of finesse).

Don't worry fair canned meat consumers; I will get back in line so as not to upset the line of lemmings behind me.

On a similar note:

A different lady called the CMH and bitched me out for not refunding her $10 for her TV Guide subscription. I tried to tell her we just handle canned meat but she didn't want to hear it and consequentially will not be buying TV Guide anymore since I didn't refund her money.

Johnny B. Goode

2008-01-02T14:58:00.000-05:00

Humanity at it's lowest can be found at return desks and checkout lines across the country this time of year. And I *sound of wood lightly scraping concrete* am about fed up with *sound of shoes on wood* JackHoles trying to put one over! *I am now firmly atop my soap box*

I was in line at the 10 items or fewer line (because "10 items or less" is gramatekly incorrect and if you reed mi blog you no I'm about the accurity) and an elder statesman is in front of me. In front of the elder statesman (let us call him scrooge) is a Mom. The chicky rolling check-out was between popping bubble gum bubbles when she rings in the second of two 64oz bottles of laundry oil. The ~$15 price comes up and Scrooge says, "That aint right. It says on the end cap it is ~$4." See Scrooge has the same laundry oil too. Check out chick blinks her blinky light and the earth's rotation slows to a crawl. Supervisor lady gets on the walkie and determines Scrooge is right, someone forgot to take the sign down. Mom and Scrooge get their laundry oil for a healthy $10 discount.

As Scrooge is being rung-up and bagged he looks at me and says, "It's their fault right? They should pay for their mistake." I barely smile and say nothing which is why I need to tell all of you what I should have said before I explode with self righteousness. Let us pretend I say something like, "What ever makes you sleep at night pops. Here I thought you and your contemporaries were those who were sad that business couldn't be done with a handshake anymore and were tired of fat corporations being cavalier with your pensions. I thought the greatest generation of role models with upstanding morality would know the difference between an honest mistake and taking advantage of a situation. But it seems your penchant for sticking it to the man is as ingrained as your hatred for that Elvis boy and his rock n' roll. By the way I hope that laundry oil takes the shoulder snaps right off of your 'members only' jacket."

I taken my discounts that maybe shouldn't have been in my time but I never told anyone else to take it nor asked someone in line for permission to feel better about it. There is a fine line between a pricing mistake and retail fraud. Scrooge crossed that line and now faces the unrelenting taunting of my BLOG.

"That's a silly question...FOO!"

2007-12-29T06:37:00.000-05:00

The title of this entry must be read as if Mr. T were saying it.

Let's pretend I sell lengths of gold chain from which bling can be hung. An OG asked me the other day, "How long is that 16 inch chain?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

But enough about the outside world. I'd like to talk about Home. Have you ever come home and walked straight into an explosive trap and didn't know you were there until after you were picking shrapnel out of your butt cheeks? I am going to take a clue from the brave soldiers over seas and use silly string to detect trip wires. I'll park the car and then deploy into the home front sweeping for IBSs (improvised bitching subjects). I know I have lost count how many times I've been "wrong" but why do I also get yelled at when no one is to blame? Of course I know I'm guilty of doing this (every morning from waking until 10:30a). I think when we are feeling especially vulnerable we should wear a t-shirt with the saying (that made that one jackass so popular that I don't know his name) "Don't tase me bro!"

God bless and be careful out there.

Down came the rain...

2007-12-19T15:59:00.000-05:00

Our kitchen ceiling is leaking. Now this sucks no matter how you cut it, but the following is how it effects me (get your own BLOG if you need to work out your issues).

The wife discovered the leak. She immediately called my father. I was touched and I know he was too. But see, every time I talk my father about my back yard he tells me to clean my gutters. I could clean my gutters quarterly and it still not be enough, they just get filthy. I missed it this year and I'm sure it would have helped had they been clean but the foot of snow and ice this past week had something to do with it too. But Dad won't talk about that. I'm in for more gutter lectures.

After talking to my father she called a Handyman service to come out. This was an awesome move! I have heard about this before but didn't know the details or how to fix it or even where to start looking for the trouble. Handyman helped us out and didn't take all of our money either.

So now I'm up on the ice covered roof chipping at the ice dam and installing the heating wire to keep the ice melted. The wife promises she will check on me. I find I left the clips for the wire on the kitchen table. I don't want to get down because stepping on the ladder to get off of the roof is the scary part for me and I sure as hell don't want to do it twice. For 10 minutes I'm screaming her name and throwing chipped ice at the door trying to get her to come out. Then I resort to swinging the wire to hit the door. After 15 minutes (which on a cold, wet, icy roof is a long time) she comes out and looks at me like I am crazy. Don't get me wrong; I love this woman with all of my heart but there are times in a marriage when you just want to smack the spouse in the back of the head and give them the "WTF?" look.

Things are looking better now and I don't wish this on any one. My day off will now resume...as the sun sets.

Johnny got run over by a dump truck?

2007-12-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

I'm all for everyone showing their seasonal spirit. For instance the van with a red nose and antlers. A famous pick-up around town with a wreath on the front. This year we saw a car with a light-up menorah on the roof rack. It is all very festive.

Then I see this dump truck who may be trying too hard. There is a sled (think rosebud - wooden deck & metal runners) on the front of this dump truck and the sled has a Santa picture on it. It found it as amusing as morbid. His other car probably has Donner tied to the hood.

Merry Christmas and for goodness sake look both ways before crossing or you might end up and Bubba's bumper.

persistant progression

2007-12-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

Let us pretend that I sell air conditioners (AC).

A lot of elderly people buy AC.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me share my definition of OLD people. Those who hate the young due to their youth. There unhappiness has aged them and turned them into curmudgeons, codgers, the kind who you would picture yelling, "GET THE HELL OFF OF MY LAWN!". Old people can be any age.

As I was saying, a lot of old people buy AC and from what I can tell the states that need AC the most (Florida and California) have elderly folks, or those who simply continue to age. These fine people seem to be happier. Perhaps it is that they decided that a new chapter of life started when they reached a certain age and moved toward the sun. The Midwest has the meanest SOB'n old people there are. Of course I'm generalizing since @$$holes can live wherever they like (for now) and as I said, be any age. My guess as to why old people are more common among the elderly is that they are mad they are not dead yet. And if they continue to be an @$$, I frankly can't wait either.

Here is to you people who are happy and try to spread it.

P.S. Wilhem, you are right. This does sound like a manefesto.

oh the humanity

2007-12-09T18:23:00.000-05:00

Let's pretend I have a job talking to people about....TVs. (I'm changing everything because if I say who or what I really do I can get promoted to unemployment).

This one gent says to me, "I have the volume at 32 and I can barely hear it."

I says to the gent, "Turn it up."

He says, "WoW!! Thank you TV man that is much better. Thank you!"

I says, "Wow!" too.

===============different story===========

Then there was another gent that says, "the TV won't sit right on the custom built TV stand."

I says (after much time and questioning), "Is it right side up?"

He says, "Wow!!! Thank you TV man that is much better. Thank you!"

I says (in my head), "Wow!!"

Miss Frizzle is right

2007-12-05T15:04:00.000-05:00

My first real week back at work. I'm doing OK but I'm making a lot of mistakes. It feels bad but as we all logically know it is the best path to growth.

I have a few favorite mistakes. Some are my favorites because I learned a valuable lesson. Other are favorites because they are hilarious (even if it is at my expense).

Did I ever tell you about the time I went on a job interview for a Summer position in the MIS dept. of the company where my Dad was employed?

I wound up walking into a supply closet when I was leaving the interview. Believe it or not I still got the job.

Tough choice

2007-11-24T18:13:00.000-05:00

I went to the comic shop today for the first time in a month.

I picked up my pre-ordered Heroes hardcover.

Then I had to choose.

Which cover: Jim Lee or Alex Ross ???????

Since I originally ordered it for a comic book experience I went with Jim Lee but Ross' renditions where....well, very Alex Ross.

A simple search will show you how hard the choice was.

Dawn of a new day

2007-11-24T15:51:00.000-05:00

I am posting today from my new computer. Many friends who know my computing desires intimately know that I have wanted a Mac for some time now. And most of them have tried to dissuade me. Last Wednesday I unpacked the pretty box to find an even prettier 20" iMac w/ 2GB ram inside.

Migrating files became much easier when I stopped trying to use the iMac like a Windows machine. It has not been serendipitously easy; rather a simple puzzle for a computer vet. It was not as challenging as Ubuntu but much more simple than reinstalling XP on the PC or setting up and migrating to a new PC.

I'm a fanboy in the making. It is important to note that I don't think XP (or Microsoft for that matter) "sucks" but that this tech-curious tangent is a facet of my computer hobby. Microsoft definitely has work to do before I try another one of their OSs.

Cheers

Great Day

2007-11-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

I had the best Tuesday (maybe ever). I took my first few calls at work which included a gentleman who said I was a credit to the company and he hoped everyone he talked to there was as nice as me (I blushed). I won a Lemon Merange Pie. I had a great spin class (best yet). And my new computer was delivered.

Here is to good days!
Cheers.

Graceous

2007-11-20T22:07:00.001-05:00

This 9to5 job is cutting into my blogging time.

Back in the saddle

2007-11-10T18:30:00.001-05:00

I started my phone support gig with [insert company name]. The first week was a mix of boring new-hire paperwork & admonishments as well as getting my hands on some of the coolest products every.

The training, job tools, products etc. seem to be really smart. Best job tools I've ever worked with.

The bathrooms on the other hand are the dumbest smart things ever. The soap & paper towel dispensers are motion automated. About the time you are done rinsing the soap from your hands the more soap squirts out so you have to be quick or you will be there for ever. The paper towels seem to know exactly when you don't need one and roll-out another 2 feet of towel.

Transform and roll up

2007-11-02T12:05:00.001-04:00

Sonny and I had fun taking the kids around again this year. Most other Dads seemed to be strolling with drinks in their hand and looked a bit warmer than we felt.

I can't wait until next year.

I should be so lucky

2007-10-24T11:03:00.000-04:00

I went to "The Grill" this morning for an omelet. A 93 year-old gentleman came in with HEAVY assistance from his wife and daughter. He lives on the cape now but had lived in town for many years. He made the trip especially to have breakfast at this little place that has changed owners and names a half-dozen times.
It was so uplifting to hear him talk to everyone about old friends and drug stores with soda fountains that are now jewelry stores and barbershops. You could hear how happy he was just to be here once again.

God bless you sir. And here is to the glory days.

J.O.B.

2007-10-22T13:01:00.000-04:00

For those of you who do not know yet; I got a job.
It's a seasonal, temp thing doing one of the things I do best. Now comes the test of 'do I enjoy it as much as I am good at it?'
I'm not jumping for joy or singing "Can't touch this" like I did when I got my first jog because 1)Hammer does hurt some people and 2)at this point in the at-home gig I don't know how we ever managed when we both worked.
I'll miss walking the dogs and not being in a hurry and being able to drop everything to handle a crisis or just for the fun of dropping everything.
I've been confused, upset, depressed and unsure about being at home over the years but I have never been 'sad' (in my experience sad is profoundly different than depressed).
I am, however, sad to leave it. I find myself hoping I don't like the gig or the lifestyle it requires even though I know I like being in the game.

This is why I BLOG to y'all:
As I sit here typing I realize I'm sketching this as a black and white decision. I hope I can remember in the thick of the new routine that I don't don't have to have it one way or another. I can create a path that works for us and for those parts that don't work I can refine or reject them.

Here is to enjoying the view from our own paths.

Incoming: passion on your 6

2007-10-22T11:24:00.000-04:00

We took a walk through the wood yesterday with 7,8 and the dogs. We are traipsing in the woods enjoying the Indian Summer (or should I say Native American Summer). The wife is going on about something significant in our lives and she mentions how nice it is to be working with ones 'passion'. 7 doesn't miss a beat, "Mommy what is passion?"
The wife and I exchange frightened looks and take one of those parental opportunities to broadens the minds of the boys.

It turns out 7 has a passion for selling wreaths.

Broken spoke

2007-10-09T13:15:00.000-04:00

So after huffing out the last few miles of a charity ride this weekend I was feeling like I was more out of shape than I thought.
I go to spin out my legs the next day and during my pre-flight check find that my rear wheel is damn near immobile. I check closer and find that a spoke is broken and the wheel is deflected so that the rim is pressing against the brake...hard. I was pushing this whole thing those last few miles and didn't know it. Good news, I'm a stronger rider than I thought; Bad news I'm deaf and blind to have not noticed how bad this was.

The car has also been making a funny noise. Maybe I should just turn up the radio.

Ayeeeee to be read as Arthur Fonzarelli

2007-10-05T17:08:00.000-04:00

I still got it. I just fixed a computer problem without laying eyes nor hands on the PC. The person just said, "Bla, computer problem, bla" and I was able to suggest the proper course of action.

A simple victory but an important one to someone who hasn't been in the trenches for many years.

Next time I won't even say anything I'll just bang the PC with my fist and give two thumbs up.

BLOGer beware

2007-09-27T02:59:00.001-04:00

Just before 7 got off of the bus yesterday I sat staring at a blank post and tried to think of what to write. BLOG block, happens to everyone I imagine.
Then 7 gets off of the bus with a mitt full of bloody tissues clamped to his face. What! "WTF happened 7!" I didn't really say that but you get the picture. And the following all happened in a tiring blink of an eye from a swift (pretty much) calm Dad:

stopped the bleeding
find out that kid in front of 7 in bus isle stopped suddenly and backed up hard enough to crack 7s nose
check to see if it is broken
don't know what a broken nose looks like
call Dr. office, nurse will call back
get it iced
nurse called back, bring him in
take him in, Dr. confers with another Dr.
told I did all of the right things
pat self on back
gotta get x-ray
7 just doesn't want shot
get home to pack ipod, Harry Potter (HP):Azkaban
drop Scout meeting stuff of in buddies mailbox since we will miss meeting
drive through McDs on the way to hospital
Coolest old lady volunteer in ER takes me directly to radiology
7 reads 'radiology' signs on the way to radiology
read some HP
films of 7 schnoz
wait and mentally groan through episode of Pokemon
x-ray stud says films are negative
I ask if any soft tissue damage (which was the main concern)
stud tells me x-rays look at bones
I politely smile while mentally flipping stud the finger
7 REALLY wants to go to scout meeting
we have just enough time
call wife tell her this story so far
get home, let dogs out, change, feed dogs, pack car with scouts and scout things
go to Scout meeting
meet
7 has so much fun he forgets that he was at hospital
brain full, must go home
clean up 7and8
in to PJs and bed
phone rings, Dr. called to ask what happened
I ask Dr. if 'soft tissue' question was as dumb as stud made me feel, answer is No
pat self on back for flipping of mental bird
phone rings, more comforting words from wife
nothing on TV
sleep
wake at 3, dog kicking my armpit
BLOG

It was a lot to be sure but not one thing was (in itself) overwhelming. We were pretty darn lucky the medical establishment moved with any speed yet agility. 7and8 were troopers and I will never wish to have something to BLOG about.

What up Bo?

2007-09-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

Why are you posting so much these days? What's with the output flurry?

1. I gave out this BLOG address to everyone I saw on vacation this summer (including in-laws).
2. Those who were already reading gave me the appropriate amount of static for not posting more often.
3. 3 words- 7and8 back in school (apparently Summer is my busy season).
4. *read as Superman exposed to Kryptonite* Anecdotes...cloud...thinking, must...purge...short-term...memory *can also be read as Wm. Shatner saying anything*

I'm so geeky I could kick myself

2007-09-21T11:10:00.000-04:00

I stream iTunes to the Apple network extender that has "Air Tunes" built into it. I can listen to all of the songs on my PC through the stereo downstairs. I even bought a remote so I can pause and skip. I've been working this way for a few years but if I wanted to start the streaming, switch playlists, etc. I had to go upstairs to manipulate iTunes directly. Kind of a bummer during parties or when I'm cooking dinner.

The other day I'm poking around on Digg.com and see an article on how people are remote controlling iTunes from their iPhones through the browser. I try it on my palm TX and it can't interpret the webpage properly so I keep poking and one comment reads (as arrogantly as comments do) that he has been remote controlling his entire PC for years from his palm with a VNC program. I smack my forehead as if I could have had a V8.

Back in the day I used VNC as much as e-mail apps. I would use it when I was on call, so I didn't have to walk back and forth to the server room, to usurp end-user input, etc.. All of the things VNC was made for. Why hadn't I thought of it sooner!? So after a few installations and some Advil for my headache from smacking myself, I'm controlling my PC from my palm as God intended it.

I wonder what else I've forgotten?

iShop

2007-09-19T10:39:00.000-04:00

The unreality of vacation was forcibly stripped away when I had to go grocery shopping yesterday. 7and8 are in school so I pampered myself by shopping with my iPod.
I've had the iPod at the grocery a number of times but this time in particular I was getting the stink eye from the little old ladies.
BTW my Mother-in-law is not a little old lady! Rather, a spry, witty septuagenarian.

I was getting looks from all of them as if I was doing something wrong. The produce lady laughed while I danced my apples into their bag. The frozen food guy ask who I was listening to, etc. Now I didn't limbo under the deli number dispenser or anything but there was definitely more rhythm to my shopping than without a soundtrack.
Grandmas didn't handle it well. In any shopping trip there will be the "oh, excuse me" surprise meeting as a turn is rounded but when Mrs. Bader-Ginsburg saw I had buds in my ears I was to blame for the whole thing.

Lighten up ladies, there is an entire health care industry you should save your energy for hating.

Oh intrepid traveler

2007-09-17T18:02:00.000-04:00

My flight was delayed last night. Now let me see if I can make you feel sorry for me:
It was delayed 4 hours
It was on the home from vacation
I was alone with 7and8
It was a Sunday night so all airport businesses were closed
Last flight of the night
All luggage checked

I could go on but you know what? It wasn't that bad. Sure it would have been better if it was on time, but I am a firm believer in "you don't know what you are capable of until you have to .

There was the "seasoned" traveler who promptly marched up to the desk and raised hell. He told them how this wouldn't happen in Philly, and bla bla bla. Guess what? His bitching didn't make the plane go faster. I'm sure he is the guy who is so used to traveling he pisses of wait staff so that his burger gets the lugee treatment. In contrast, there was the group watching the game who made a laugh-riot out of the situation. What a great crowd. Don't forget the Indian couple who where punking all of their friends with a whoopee cushion. And let me add myself to the list. I was quietly entertaining my kids with reading, tic-tac-toe, magic tricks, playing action figures, etc. (pretty awesome if you ask me).

To those who think bitching will make the plane go faster I say you deserve every increase of BP point you get. Take a load off and laugh at those who make farting noises.

Wheres ma vanilla bears at?

2007-08-18T19:18:00.000-04:00

Cheers to my High School bros. I tried an appletini tonight in your honor, and then another.

It reminded of the "Girl drink drunk" skit from Kids in the Hall.

Now excuse me while I hang my pants on the back of the door so I can twosies.

BTW 200 posts...whoa!

Oh...That's why

2007-08-14T07:25:00.000-04:00

Have you ever known someone with a very awkward personality that has to have a reasonable explanation of its origin but is not readily apparent?

I met a boy at camp this summer, I'll change his name to Jick (Jasshole is too long) for the purposes of this BLOG.
Jick, most times, will not listen to what grown-up say. There are a number of reasons for this: 1-he needs to be right, 2-he wants to do what he wants to do. I was using every parental skill I had but was undercut by a softy-mom (or less tyrannical than me).
Halfway through camp 7 begs me to take the bus to camp rather than drive in a comfortable, air conditioned van with a DVD player and ample suspension. Boys find novelty in the darnedest places.
The bus had many amenities too: Back jarring bumps, arthritic flare-ups for those with the proper knees, deafening ambiance...everything you enjoyed as a child only now smaller, somehow, and more annoying. There was the hot bus driver-lady that is new since I was tortured by redneck ladies called maggot and guys named Ed whose hidden still one better not trip over unless they wanted to squeal like a pig.
The bus also carried Jick. Jick wanted all of the boys to pay attention to him. He did not accomplish this with antics but rather worldliness. He had a number of ways to do this. He talked about his Zune, PSP, DS Lite, PS3, XBOX, etc. at first I thought he was full of it but I later found out that he was indeed bragging about the things he did own. He talked, in detail, about a number of related technical aspects of gaming and computing. I had to school his superior ass when he said there were 100 bits in a byte. In a few aspects Jick is impressively smart and convincing.
Then he started to try to buy attention. He announced, "I have four rice krispy treats. Who wants one?" then proceeded to give and take them back based on some scale of friendship he must have thought was fair. Then he started talking about how much money he had on him, and how he was going to buy pop/soda/cokes for a bunch of people at camp. Silly me thought he was repaying a dept or doing a good turn. Nope. Another charming boy who I will call Merk came up to our group early that morning after we had arrived on the bus and said, "Some idiot is up at the coke machine buying everyone sodas." and he said this as only Merk can. That was morning one.
Morning two comes and goes and he tries to ensnare me with my opinion of who I think he should pick in his NBA 07 psp game.
Afternoon he has all of the kids in the back of the bus listening to him talk about all of the movies he watches. He explains to them that the rating system goes: G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17, X. Luckily he stopped there but then he starts to give examples of why certain movies where rated they way they were. I stopped the conversation before he could impart to 8 why Clearks 2 was R.
The last morning he simply listened to his Zune and sang Beatles songs, very loudly, all the way to camp. Luckily he didn't get to sing the Metallica playlist.

I came to realize that all this kid really wants, besides and iPhone, is to be loved. He tries so freakin' hard to fill whatever void he has with other people and things. He appreciates authority but doesn't know what to do when confronted with it. I'm not saying his family are bad people just bad at giving this boy real coping skills. I am judging them harshly, because I am a prick who knows Jick deserves better.

Old Skool

2007-08-14T06:55:00.000-04:00

Reflections on 'Transformers: The Movie" (circa 1986). BTW I won't call this a spoiler.

7 picked up the video at the store the other day. He doesn't remember having watched with me a few years ago. We were lucky enough to get a reissue that has been remastered, has special features, etc.
I remember when we watched it a few years ago thinking how violent the movie was. Good guys dieing right and left. More shooting than 'The Matrix' by a huge margin. Then there was the language. For those of you to don't remember or have the edited VHS; Spike says "Shit" and Ultra Magnus says "Damn it". This time around it seemed more tame. I'm not as uptight of a parent as I used to be but still on the conservative end of the spectrum compared to others (that is foreshadowing for a coming post). After our viewing I visited the iTunes store to look for Stan Bush's 'The Touch'. One lyric is "...when all hell's breaking loose..." maybe nostalgia got the better of me when I bought it for them (don't get me wrong, I'll rock out to it too). My kids might say 'hell' soon but it's better than say a little girl picking up ANY habits from the Ho' inspired Bratz dolls.
I remember being awe-struck with Prime died. I remember loosing interest in the whole thing. I was old enough at the time to realize the movie (while a neat thing) was a commercial for all of the toys. Nothing underscored this more than the Galvatron toy looking so damn stupid. This was nothing new but call it the end of an innocence. I will always remember the birthday I got Optimus Prime for a present and how it was one of the coolest things ever!

I wonder what 7&8 will remember about their toys. They won't remember where they were when they saw this movie. Optimus is still very much alive for them in the toy isle, another upcoming cartoon series and the 2007 movie (which I won't let them see for some time). They will remember something else. Here's to that memory being of a hero (real or imagined) that they respect now and in 20+ years.

Too much to say

2007-07-30T17:08:00.000-04:00

I've not posted some of (what may be my best material yet) because this is a family blog and some stories would not be funny to all. Yes, I do consider other's feelings, it is a curse.

Contemplation of the day:
If you know exactly how much and what kind of a butt-hole someone is, does that make them easier to deal with? Is butt-hole ignorance bliss?

3rd wallet is a charm

2007-07-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

I knew the second paper wallet wasn't going to last as long as the first shortly after finishing. This one deteriorated too quickly. Did I mention it was made from executive letterhead of a former employee? The wife brought this home from the office to let 7and8 put something intelligent on it. Well this executive letterhead disintegrated quickly to the point I'm wondering if all upper management documentation is ultra biodegradable. Did I mention that I lost my WorldCom job and don't really trust corporate America any more?

I constructed the 3rd wallet in record time and a little sloppily. But it is made from something like 80 bond, laser paper that the aliens had when they crashed in Area 51. I have more confidence in the aliens.

Almost 2 months

2007-06-15T09:13:00.000-04:00

I have to make a new paper wallet today. My first one was quite a trooper. It survived a number of events (not the least was ridicule from a Costanza wallet enthusiast) but could not withstand the deluge of the pipe burst. It clung to life for a valiant 4 days after the flood. Today I decided to humanly euthanize/recycle it.

I want to share that the initial zipper folds are critical and the wallet would have lasted longer had I gotten these right from the start. I'm considering printing some of the information I carry as business cards on the new wallet so I can further reduce the payload. I could even take a lesson from another instructable and scan/print the bar codes for the library & grocery card on to it. Making sure the info prints in a fold friendly spot will be the tricky part. Nothing like trial and error for this guy.

Yard work windego

2007-06-05T10:44:00.000-04:00

I sat at my breakfast table drinking my (hot) coffee and reading the paper when a movement in the woods caught my eye. The sun was behind the woods so everything therein was a silhouette. The movement came from a humanoid figure towering 5'6". The lumbering gait and arms hanging as if too much muscle prevented them from being any closer to the body than one foot. Chills ran down my spine as I tried to remember where my camera could be. Small trees began to be heaved from its path as it moved closer. Then the most unexpected thing caught my eye. This mythical creature revealed it had on a blue t-shirt and was going back to the yard it had come through to get more yard waste and dispose of it in the woods.

Beware kids, compost or Sasquatch will do it for you.

BTW the preceding anecdote was a dramatization. It turned out to be my neighbor, Frank, clearing branches felled by a storm from his lawn before mowing.