7and8

I realized a few years ago that vacations are no more than a spending binge in a different (often warmer) climate. Don't get me wrong this is theraputic in many ways. For those of us who stay home, however, it's taking the job on the road with the added 'help' of the spouse and relatives.

I like how these helpers try very hard to aid your relaxation, until the shit hits the fan. Then you have to come back to this altered reality to set right what has gone wrong.

The wife got mad when I said that I enjoyed the vacation but it was not relaxing. Relaxing is sleeping late and not missing anything important. Relaxing is not tossing around in an uncomfortable, too small bed next to someone doing the same. Then you get up and go into the too small kitchen/ inlaws bedroom to have the same damn cereal your kids eat at home, waiting your 4th place turn in the shower and then rushing out to have fun that must be enjoyed by dinner time so you can fight about where to eat.

Boy I really sound like this was a major drag. But it wasn't despite all of this I did enjoy myself and did not relax in a normal way but enjoyed a pace, scenery and weather that I don't see often. Likewise I got to see my family in the same state of exhasted, off-balacned, enjoyment.

So what is the answer to the relaxing get away question? I'm guessing it is doing something so different you don't know if it sucks at the moment you are doing it. Take camping, (full disclosure: I haven't been camping in 13 years or so, but I can't wait to try it with the kids) Everything is so different and you may have nothing else to do (or want to do) than play a friendly round of cards, read a book or talk about what is really bugging you. Beer helps. Beer helps me get nice and cozy and to love every damn thing in the that zip code.

Beer is a good, bloated vacation in a bottle.